Kierkegaard 1843

"I am at the end of my rope. I am nauseated by life; it is insipid -- without salt and meaning. If i were hungrier than Pierrot, I would not choose to eat the explanation people offer. One sticks a finger into the ground to smell what country one is in; I stick my finger into the world -- it has no smell. Where am I? What does it mean to say: the world? What is the meaning of the word? Who tricked me into this whole thing and leaves me standing here? Who am I? How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it, why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought from a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager -- I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint? After all, life is a debate -- may I ask that my observations be considered? If one has to take life as it is, would it not be best to find out how things go?" (200 -- letter from Young Man to Silent Confidant)